Pay to Play

Sometimes coping with The French Bureaucracy is a straightforward commercial transaction. I drove up to Montpellier yesterday for a medical exam and interview with the OFII, the national office of immigration and integration, a name that implies some effort will be made to help newcomers adapt to French society. I wouldn’t count on it.

After finding the nearly anonymous Centre de Radiologie Victor Hugo, which in the letter was said to be located at 10 rue Victor Ugo, but the Waze app correctly found at 10 Boulevard Victor Hugo (I suspected as much), I was quickly ushered in, told to remove my shirt and cozy up to the x-ray machine. Zap! Back to waiting room for ten minutes, handed an envelope with my films and shown the door with an assurance that the next address wasn’t very far away.

Waiting room, a little longer this time, until a woman in a white lab coat calls my name and shows me to an office where I’m asked my height and weight, requested to read an eye chart, and told to return to the waiting room. Twenty minutes later a woman in colorful civilian clothes calls my name, shows me to an office, asks for the receipt that shows I paid 250 euros online for this experience, returns my x-rays, and puts a shiny new stamp in my passport authorizing me to be in this country for the next year. Pay to play. Simple if you have it.

By the way, many people, experts even, have said mine were among the most beautiful chest x-rays they’ve ever seen. They may be the best x-rays any president has ever… oh wait.

Never mind.

©2017 Ron Scherl